As you know from the podcast I am changing over from social media to being focused on my website again, like I just to have after MySpace days. In another life, way back in the day, when we still had flip phones… OK – I will stop. Ha-ha
One of the journeys I want to talk about publicly is my stepping back into better health. I have a chronic back injury, FM, and Ankylosing spondylitis. A.S. is an inflammatory type of degenerative joint disease. I won’t go backwards with explanation but I have been disabled by these things officially since 2006 after a work related accident.
At the end January of 2020 I had a coughing fit, a few days prior to Robert and I moving into our Motor home for a few months till we found a new place to hang out hats. This was really before the pandemic had started so I have no idea why it was such a bad coughing fit, but I can guess it was somehow related. What I know now is that one of my base vertebrae slid forwards and is now pressing on the left side leg nerves. From Feb to the end of April I have varies versions of malfunction with my left legs, till I was able to get the pressure on that nerve to ease up. So the rest of the year was spent on trying to figure this out.
The Pandemic played a big part of in my life as it did with others. What that meant for me was a delay in medical care or no access to medical care. The MRI i needed didn’t happen till June, The physio I needed was sporadic. Social distancing and self isolation really didn’t help me even when I was trying to heal and mend on my own. I am convinced that all things combined to me having such a hard time repairing the injury. During 2020 and ongoing there has also been a on and off flare up of my FM. A lot of people with this disease are reporting the same. FM flare ups can put a monkey wrench into the best of years – let alone one that was so globally messed up.
On a spiritual level this year has been incredibly complicated and difficult for me. Robert has been home full time as his heart is declining. We have been living in close quarters – lots of stress from that. My well rehearsed spiritual practices were pretty much non existent through out 2020. Then I had medium moments where I was not in control at all. Spontaneous channeling, very incredible and OBE at night, visitations from Sasquatch and other sorts of Other dimensional beings. I am pretty sure that so many of you also experienced some form or another of Emphatic Overload. This still is the one thing I struggle to heal from. I told Dr. Collins I think it is a mild form of PTSD at this point – but of course I used her language. I didn’t want to get a “because science” rant from her. She is an amazing doctor and I don’t mind these little compromises.
The Emphatic overload I am experiencing is felt by me in the form of pain. If I am near someone who has pain or injury I get debilitating pain in my body, as real as if I had just injured myself. Sometime it is hard to stay standing. It is so bad that even TV shows trigger it. So if someone trips on a show or movie and skins a knee, I feel it. To the point where I expect to see blood. I spent a lot of time and work to get this under control, it takes daily management to keep it that way. Could this be from the place I am at in the 4D energies? I think so. Does knowing that make a difference? NO! Well to be fair -only to say that at some point it will get better no matter what I do. I just have to get quality of life till then.
I have taken more courses and done more one on one sessions with the metaphysical community this year than I have done in the last 20. Support made the difference and it is the reason I am still breathing. Seriously – a big heart felt thank you to all of you, you know who you are. From music play lists, to late night chats online, to therapies designed to treat all of us in 2020 energies, to new modalities, to close friends, to shamans and teachers. All of you … are the reason. Robert had to take on all that I could not do myself and only now slowly am I taking that back.
In the year that I was not capable to do on my own, others stepped forward and helped me.
I am going to press the fast forward key here to this week and talk about other things and details in other blogs at another time. I have had several epiphanies the last week to week and a half. But first the medical stuff…
It took to the beginning of January to actually talk to the Neurologist over the phone about my back and the MRI findings. His prognosis is – surgery is inevitable. Dr. Hutant wants to fuse that area of my back and add in pins. I knew this years ago that at some point I would end up with decisions that effected my ability to walk and have been doing my best to postpone that as long as I can. Unfortunately we can’t heal ourselves to that level yet, some day we will.
Because of the shit show 2020 I am no where hear being able to go through surgery. I put on weight and (maybe everyone did?) my BP has been out of control, from the extra weight, hormones and stress. My fitness is pretty much no existent. I am able to walk 30 minutes now, but it causes flare ups and I need to really be careful. I have been working on this with alternative medicines mostly since the end of October. It has made a difference. However I was not happy with the pace the change was happening.
Yeah – part impatience and part my body just saying, “That is enough – Fuck”
So about three weeks ago now I started Noom, and it has helped. I changed what i was doing with supplements. Then I made an appointment to have an in office visit with Dr. Collins to talk about everything. She has put me on water pills, and they are helping me get the BP to stabilize. I went and got all my blood work done so I have numbers to work with now. I found out there is a lot of things wrong with my blood and by sugars are too high. But before that was done, we talked about using the injections for weight loss and i took home a 6 week sample. I was really hopeful that this would work for me. I do an injection into my stomach once a week and it makes my brain think I am not hungry.
I am not proceeding froward with that one. My body has some really bad symptoms that I can not live with from the medicine. I have done two shots and it has gotten worse with the second one. All the progress I made with Noom is pretty much stopped because of the side effects from the Ozempic.
It is a drug mostly used with Type 2 diabetes, but in my case it is for appetite and weight loss. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/326252
What I have decided to do instead is working on my stomach. I have started to take bitters, and today I decided to try Golden seal. Years ago it helped me with my FM, boosted my immunity and eased my stomach issues. This morning i was getting the symptoms back from the Ozempic shot i took on January 22nd and my FM was going crazy. It was less than 30 minutes and it went away. So I am crossing my fingers that I can make some progress with this till I can find a Naturopath in Mission and work out a plan. I am going to continue with Noom as it is really supporting me.